OURead-a-thon Mini Challenge Completed #2

The Bookish Type held a Mini Challenged described as thus:

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it:

Pick any book from your readathon pile and write a fake synopsis based solely on the cover. The synopsis does not have to be related to the actual book at all, just the pretty, pretty cover.

So here I go. I missed reading Heartless since I left it somewhere in the house, possibly in the 5 foot pile of laundry that needs folding (I kid not on the size of the pile) so here I go:

Heartless: After a lengthy climb on a lot of stairs covered in heavy attire and holding young in belly, Alexia only wants some tea and little cakes but these dam evil dooers keep curdling her cream and messing up her cache of parasols. What is a woman to do but take charge and pack up some crumpets while at the same time not being labeled as a strumpet?! Let the soul sucking begin and the enemies be damed since a pregnant woman has ferocious hormones and the bad guys are up tall stairs and keeping her from tea, watch out there will be hell to pay.

Hahaha! totally to not be confused as the actual blurb from the Book:

Lady Alexia Maccon, soulless, is at it again, only this time the trouble is not her fault. When a mad ghost threatens the queen, Alexia is on the case, following a trail that leads her deep into her husband's past. Top that off with a sister who has joined the suffragette movement (shocking!), Madame Lefoux's latest mechanical invention, and a plague of zombie porcupines and Alexia barely has time to remember she happens to be eight months pregnant.

Will Alexia manage to determine who is trying to kill Queen Victoria before it is too late? Is it the vampires again or is there a traitor lurking about in wolf's clothing? And what, exactly, has taken up residence in Lord Akeldama's second best closet?